Final Farewell
by ChibiQuatre
Summary: angst angst angst! poor wufei, can he get past meiran's death? don't 4get 2 read my other series-minifics, "Constitution," "Affluence," and "Duo no Hero." Ja!!!


Final Farewell  
By ChibiQuatre(6/23/00)  
  
  
Yet another GW disclaimer: well, do you all REALLY want me to write a disclaimer?! We all know that I don't own GW (though God KNOWS I wish I did!). The GW boyz r'nt mine, never were, never will b. They are owned by their respective creators; Sunrise, There...happy!!! ((oh, and any trouble translating the japanese, I'll b happy to help!))  
  
*NOTE: this is a Wufei fic (n there4 from his POV), since there aren't too many of those on the net. it's angsty, so beware, k? be 4told. now, just sit back n enjoy!  
  
  
  
"Goodbye then, Wufei." My friends waved as I passed the gates of the  
Peacecraft estate.  
  
I huffed and kept walking. Now, to figure a way to hitch a ride to L5.  
  
It wasn't very complicated really, I thought, smiling. While the fools were loading  
the cargo, they often left their posts once in a while to collect more luggage.  
Meanwhile, the door to the cargo bay would be left open--a flaw of the  
designers, since the doors were very heavy and the stewards left it open for  
easy loading.   
  
While they went to get more luggage, I would simply sneak behind the shuttle  
and stay in the bay until they landed in the L5 aircraft hangar. Then, while they  
were unloading the cargo to its various locations, I would sneak into the  
shadows and disppear, unnoticed.  
  
The ride back to earth would go roughly the same.  
  
Provided I was to ever return to earth.  
  


***  


  
My plan went flawlessly.  
  
It was perfect...not a hitch. I was in and out of the carrier before anyone knew it.  
  
I chuckled as I walked along the sidewalk of the colony. My colony. The colony I  
had left after OZ began taking over space.  
  
The colony I had left after her death.  
  
Meiran.  
  
Beautiful Meiran. How I missed her. How I hated OZ for taking her away from  
me.  
  
I hadn't always been so hard-hearted. That was merely a result of war. I used to  
be a frail and weak little boy. It was pathetic how useless I used to be. I had  
books. The books were my friends, the friends I never had.  
  
Until Meiran that is.  
  
Until Meiran, I was satisfied with living my average life. It didn't matter that I was  
always picked on as the runt of my class. But I didn't care. I was weak; what  
could I do?  
  
Meiran, compared to me, was strong. Her will was iron and she showed me my  
uselessness. It was my dear wife who initiated in me the belief of justice and  
righteousness.   
  
She always brought out the best in me.  
  
Now, I'm glad she was assigned my wife. I wasn't at first. She didn't act as a  
Chinese wife should. Loud and outspoken, she was totally the opposite. But she  
came from a good family, with a resistant reputation, and her parents were close  
friends of mine. So it was natural for the brave Meiran to be chosen as bride for  
the shy Wufei.  
  
I began to walk faster. A slight drizzle had begun to fall from the collective group  
of dark billows overhead. The colonies were usually controlled, weather-wise.  
Storms were only summoned when there was a need for rainfall.  
  
She was never afraid to share her opinions; they often came out rash, and she  
was always reprimanded for her sharp tongue. Without her, I don't know what I  
would have done. She established her ideals and dreams in me; my ideals, our  
goals, drive me in this war.  
  
I started across the street. I was almost the only other person walking on the  
streets. The drizzle had quickly turned into a downpour. The sound of the rain  
hitting the sidewalks was deafening. I had to move fast. The way this storm was  
programmed, it would most likely develop into a thunderhead.  
  
Funny how colonies can now control the weather. I chuckled, the throaty sound  
lost in the tempest. Things didn't used to be this good, not when Meiran was  
here.  
  
How long had it been since her death? A year, two years maybe? Things are  
different now that you're gone.  
  
I felt a twitch of pain in my chest, as I remembered her anguish. I couldn't stop  
remembering. No matter what happened, I would never be able to forget that  
look in her eyes just before she breathed her last breath. That look of sadness.  
  
It wasn't until weeks after her death when I finally discovered the reason behind  
her sadness. It was a pained look, mixed with disappointment. I had  
disappointed her, moments before she left me. And she would never return.  
  
It was hard to determine where the rain ended and the tears began. I just felt so  
tired of it all. Fighting was making me weary, I don't know how much energy I  
had left. I don't know if I can keep fighting.  
  
I reached my destination: a run-down apartment complex in the middle of L5.  
After OZ had attacked this sector of the district, the white plaster that had once  
covered it's clean walls had fallen off to reveal dirty brown stucco. The wood  
foundations that had once held the building tall and proud had been rotted away,  
leaving the structure at a slight angle.  
  
It smelled dank and musty, but it provided some temporary cover from the storm.   
  
I folded my white jacket into a neat rectangle and placed it on a fairly clean spot  
on the floor. I wouldn't be as comfortable tonight as if I had been in the  
Peacecraft mansion under the Princess' care, but it would do.  
  


***  


  
All traces of last night's storm had dissipated. The sky was a brilliant blue, not a  
cloud in sight.  
  
The streets were now filled with a hustling crowd, completely unaware of my  
troubles. Just as well. They wouldn't appreciate, couldn't understand my  
situation.  
  
I sped past the pedestrians. They didn't seem to notice my hurry, and why would  
they? They were living their happy lives, totally oblivious to the war.  
  
The grinning bakas.  
  
My colony was filled with them. I wondered vaguely if I might find the same  
grinning bakas on the other colonies. Different people, but same stupid beliefs.  
Beliefs that don't stand for anything when a stand needs to be taken.  
  
I rounded the street corner and found myself standing in a flower shop. I was  
tempted to buy a bouquet of white roses, but stopped myself. I had never liked  
flowershops. It was wrong; no one should have to buy the flawless plants that  
could easily be found in parks and various parts of the colony.   
  
No one should have to pay for Nature's beauty.  
  
The annoyed owner looked on as I walked out of his store. I just couldn't bring  
myself to buy his flowers. They looked too perfect, too surreal to be true flowers.  
  
Instead, I walked to the small Botanical Garden. I would have to backtrack very  
little; it was only a few blocks away.   
  
I didn't have enough for entrance, but I spotted a patch of flowers growing to the  
side of the Garden wall. I snuck away from the line of people. I needed flowers.   
  
My notions were confirmed. The flowerbed continued along the wall as far as I  
could see. The Garden was much larger than I remembered.   
  
I walked a ways, but couldn't find white roses. They were every color of the  
rainbow except white. Disgusted, I was about to leave when another patch of  
white caught my eye.  
  
Towards my right, there was a small collection of Lilys. Among the various hues,  
I spotted the most perfect Tiger Lily I had ever seen. And Lily's had always been  
her favorite anyways.  
  
Sneaking a look, I made sure no one was around before I reached out gingerly  
and picked the white, fragile thing. It was plucked very easily, just slid out of the  
ground. The Tiger wasn't so strong.  
  
I tucked it under my jacket and traced my footsteps back to the flowershop at the  
corner. I threw an appalled glance at the owner, who was busy with another  
customer. Another baka.  
  
Several blocks later, I found myself near the little patch of woods at the edge of  
the colonized city. When I was little, I had always wondered why anyone would  
care to build a cemetery right here. It was so peaceful and calm, no place for the  
dead here.   
  
But it was perfect for Meiran. She had had so much grief in life, I had hoped she  
could find peace in death.   
  
She hadn't quite yet.  
  
I made my way to her gravestone. While the other headstones were crooked and  
broken, some moldy with age, I had kept Meiran's clean. It was a sparkling white,  
a bony tooth sticking up out of the gaping mouth of the moist earth. I shuddered  
to think that my wife had been swallowed.  
  
I kneeled next to her headstone, took the Lily from my jacket, and lay it gently on  
her grave. This was it; this was my final farewell.  
  
I had been scared of goodbyes; how could I ever leave my wife? But it was time  
to move on with my life. Goodbye meant leaving forever, but in my heart, I would  
never really leave Meiran. Or was it the other way around?  
  
I started speaking to her, thinking she could hear me if I tried hard enough. "I'm  
sorry I couldn't come sooner, Meiran. It's this blasted war; there's no way out. I  
never wanted to kill anyone, and I still don't. I think you'd be scared to know what  
I've become, but I won't disappoint you anymore.   
  
"I know what you were trying to tell me, before you died. You were disappointed  
in my naiveté. I guess you were smarter than me, to have understood so much at  
such a young age. You were trying to say that justice is the foundation of all  
righteous laws. You were trying to get me to understand that I would have to  
fight in your place. I'm sorry I didn't realize it sooner.  
  
"But now that I do realize it, my dearest wife, I'll do everything in my power to   
declare war on those who deserve it in the name of justice and peace. Right  
now, fighting is the only thing that we Gundam pilots can do to get our point  
across. So I must fight. But I promise that the moment fighting can be prevented,  
I will avoid it." I wiped some tears away. I guess Quatre was right about fighting.  
  
"In the mean time, Nataku and I will search the entire universe for a way out of  
this war. I never told you about Nataku, but I guess you knew, ne? I'm sure I can  
feel your spirit guiding me, directing me in the heat of battle...leading me to  
victory. Of course you knew. You always knew the answer to everything. If only  
you could tell me the solution now.   
  
My fingers brushed against the cool petals of the Lily and I smiled wistfully. "Ne,  
I brought you a little gift. It will never make up for my ignorance; I know you  
expected so much more out of me. But I hope you like it. It's your favorite flower,  
isn't it? The Tiger Lily. Strong and authoritative, yet so very dainty at the same  
time. I think it fits you. You would be proud...I didn't buy it from those loathsome  
flowershops. Iie. It came from the Botanical Garden, the one you liked to visit so  
much.  
  
"I remember everything you told me. Your likes and your dislikes. You know I'd  
only allow the best for my asian princess," I whispered.   
  
"And that was it. Don't feel sad for me, or disappointed in my failures, because I  
will correct all my mistakes. I will make you proud of me."  
  
I stood up slowly. There were grass stains on my pants where I had been  
kneeling. "Now that justice is served, I can fight with a clean heart." My throat  
choked at the sentence. "This is the final farewell. Goodbye, my beloved  
Meiran."  
  
With that, I turned on my heels and briskly walked away. I didn't look back;  
Meiran would have told me never to turn back, once the final farewell was bid.  
To turn back was to show weakness, and my period of weakness was over. It  
was time to start anew.  
  
Because justice had been served. This was the final farewell.  
  
  
  
~OWARI~  
  
  
  
how was it minna-san? like it? i think it was a little more angsty than i wanted... my angstiest fic yet. well, rate n review, maybe even e-mail me if u want! jaaa!!! ^_~  
  
ChibiQuatre @ tigerlily6c@aol.com


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